From a Smile to a Tear

So, I met someone…well I thought I had. Things were going really well. I met his friends, he met mine. We’d hung out 5 times in 8 days. It was a whirlwind of thing. I was really starting to fall for him. He would look at me and give me a cute little wink that would make my heart melt. Then, I get a call from him today. I thought he was calling to figure out what we were going to do tonight…that wasn’t the case. He called to tell me that he thought we shouldn’t see each other anymore. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was probably something along the lines of: “okay, well, thanks for letting me know…is there a reason, I mean there doesn’t have to be one…” I rambled on. He said that there was someone else and that it wasn’t fair or kind to me if he kept seeing me while knowing full well that he likes someone else. I appreciate his honesty. It would have really sucked if he had just led me on. I wished him the best of luck and after a short, yet long 8 minute conversation, the pure joy and happiness of the past two weeks was suddenly over and I’m left to pick myself up and move on. Pardon my language, but dating fucking sucks. I don’t know if this is what dating is like when you don’t meet the person online or not, but I have a feeling that no matter the medium through which you are introduced to a person, dating in general sucks. There are people whom other people are just attracted to and it all works out. Then, there are people (like myself) who must work at dating…dating literally becomes a second job…a second job that can be fun, but mostly just exhausts you and frustrates you to no end.

So, it’s a Saturday afternoon and I’m sitting on the couch, at my computer, wearing workout clothes (because I’m supposed to go on a 5 mile run), just wishing I could find someone who I’m interested in and who is interested in me! It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. I invest so much of myself and my time into trying to develop something with someone. I put myself out there. I open my mind and my heart. Every rejection hurts. There are some that I don’t really care about and then some that cut a little deeper. I guess with each rejection, I get that much closer to the man I hope to spend the rest of my life with…or at least that’s my hope! I guess only time will tell. Until then, I will trudge forward and persevere because I am a strong, confident, courageous, independent, beautiful woman who deserves to be truly happy and have someone who cares enough to make me a priority.

Grabbing Tequila and Salt

If dating wasn’t a hard enough job, at the beginning of September life threw me a curveball. It was one of those things that didn’t directly affect my ability to date, but it affected how I perceived myself. Only a couple of days after Labor Day, I walked into an office…a doctor’s office…to have a small basal cell carcinoma (BCC) (skin cancer) removed from my face. I was lucky that my dermatologist caught it and caught it early. For 1 week, I walked around with a Band-Aid on my face. I’ll admit that I was very self-conscious about it. Whether it is while dating or just in life in general, I like to present myself in a put-together manner. I didn’t feel confident and I think that is what hurt the most. I was also scared…more than I probably let myself admit. Despite basal cell carcinoma being the most common and most curable cancer, it is still cancer. At the age of 26, I am definitely very young to have skin cancer. It’s not like I constantly sit outside in the sun or sunbathe. I run in the sun, but I always wear sunscreen, a hat, and sunglasses. It’s not like I haven’t tried to protect myself. Long story short, I now have to take even more precautions to protect myself from the sun because I have an increased risk of developing skin cancer again. I do want to take this opportunity to thank the couple of guys with whom I went out on dates during the first week or two post-surgery for reminding me that a scar does not define me, nor does it mar my beauty – inside or out! Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and I choose to see beauty. This was a good life lesson. When life gives you lemons make lemonade…or say f*$& it and grab tequila and salt!

25 Ridiculous Things Guys Say…Online Dating Edition

To my “loyal” readers. I apologize for my absence. I hope to do a better job. I’ve been incredibly busy dating which means that you reap the benefits. To begin with, I recently started to compile a list of shit guys say. It blows my mind that they think these lines will get a response. Well, to be honest, they probably do, but c’mon put a little effort into it! If you’re looking for a quality lady, do you really think that any of these lines will make her react with “ooh, baby! I want more of that!”? Seriously! WHEN DO THESE LINES EVER WORK? AND I MEAN E.V.E.R.?!?!?!

1. You’re adorable. I’m adopting you as my little sister so we can drink kool-aid and climb trees. Afterwards we can star in a commercial about how awesome adoption is and you can give a really sad face to the camera but then I come around the corner with a pitcher of kool-aid and your smile turns into a party
2. Hi, is that really you or just an imagination of mine 🙂
3. Hey, You’re up late. I have people over so I can’t sleep. If you’re bored, text me. (Author’s Note: Number provided at 3:45am)
4. You can stop looking now I’m right here. How are you today im (insert name here)
5. Hi pretty lady! How is your day going so far?
6. Almost hot…
7. U R So Beautiful! / Hello beautiful / You are very beautiful. How is your week going? /
8. You are so wifey material
9. I know how to take a hint
10. Hey great profile ! Just fyi, it’s “pique” your interest, if you’re using it as a verb. 🙂 (Author’s Note: the guy called me out on an auto-correct fail!)
11. So wait are you from North Carolina? … I have never met any Demon Deacons before lol. (Author’s note: just because I went to school in North Carolina does not mean that I am from North Carolina. Also, why is your never having met a Demon Deacon before funny? I’m confused.)
12. Hey / Hi, how’s it going? / Hey there. I’m (insert name). / Hey! How’s your weekend / Hey! How’s your week going? / Hi there / Hi, How are you doing? / Hey! I’m (insert name)…how are you? / How r u?
13. Subject Line: Open before this message self destruct!! Message: Hahaha sorry for the false alarm but you’re so damn cute, I had to get your attention somehow… I’m laying in bed after spending the afternoon taking my friends little brothers swimming. It was fun but I burnt my nose lol. Came across your profile and unlike most the girls on here, you actually sound down to earth and real. Doesn’t hurt that you’re gorgeous. 😉 I’d love to hear about your weekend.
14. you seem like someone that I would like to meet. We should talk.
15. Subject line: Fluxx tonight? Message: Would you like to go clubbing with my friend (guy) and I tonight at Fluxx or some other night club downtown. We will just have a good time, no pressure. Just enjoy the night life. We will happily pay for everything. I hope that you (and maybe a friend) will join us. In any event, have a great weekend. (Author’s Note: Good God man! I am not a prostitute or escort!!!)
16. You’ll probably be uninterested in me but you seem like a really cool person
17. Hey! My names (insert name), would you like to go on a date sometime?
18. Hi! You profile looks interesting & you are gorgeous .hows it going
19. … I had written out this long funny message, but the internet hates me and it just went poof, but now It’s late and I’m tired, so instead of rewriting it I’m going to just stop in and say “hey I think you’re cute and you seem like a not crazy person” then hope you write back after creeping my photos….. If you do, I’ll give you the long winded version of my message. It was pretty witty, at least I think so.
20. Well, I’m not too good at writing emails to people I don’t know so bear with me. There was something about your profile that caught my attention I’m not sure what it was but I’d like to find out. Something tells me that you’re more than just a pretty face. I’m willing to bet your getting about 500 emails a day from 75 year old men offering to be your sugar daddy… If that’s the case then this email should be “really” refreshing for you. I’m not one to talk about myself, but I’ll say this: I’m 29, attractive, artistic, have my life together and I’m funny… really funny, so be ready. Worst case? You seem like you might make a cool friend so hit me back and we’ll go from there…
21. So I find the internet a weird place to start a conversation so i am just going to go on a thought I had last night… So I was at the grocery store and I found the most stressful part of the trip was the cereal aisle. I feel like a persons choice in cereal says a lot about them… I almost found the stress of it unbearable…
22. Hey beautiful, you seem awesome. A smile says a thousand words, and I’d like to be a part of your conversation. Perhaps an evening of story swapping, coffee and card playing shenanigans. Keep on smiling.
23. I may only be 5’9″ but I look damn good in a pair of heels. I’m kidding. I have never worn heels. Unlike my little cousin… That’s a photo I can show you on our first date 😛 So what do you do for a living?
24. Hey there how is it going? I think you’ve got a very intriguing profile and l would love to know you more.
25. You seem really sweet. You have really pretty eyes! I just want to get you on a more personal level. Can I get your number?

Happy Dating Everyone! 🙂 Good luck!